peace.

A few posts ago I mentioned how scared I was feeling for the whole labor/delivery part of this whole experience. Because if you think about it, it is scary. But the truth is- I was actually really afraid of it all. Labor/delivery is scary for obvious reasons. But raising a little life? Teaching him right from wrong in a world that can be so evil? Bring on the fear for this mom to be! Being a parent is such a huge responsibility, it is hard to even fully wrap my mind around it all. There are so many things that will come up that I won't feel prepared for, and won't feel like I am even qualified to handle. I remember reading a friend's blog a few years ago about teachable moments- knowing when it is the time to teach your kids a valuable lesson and when it is time to cut them some slack. I remember reading that post and realizing- there are SO many tough calls in parenting. Little things, big things, and everything else in between. Being the imperfect human that I am, I am not sure I am equipped to make those calls. I am bound to mess up. I am bound to fail.

But over the past few weeks, I have been filled with an immeasurable amount of peace. About every aspect of parenting, labor, and even life as Lee and I know it right now. I am at peace with it all. I feel so calm about the whole giving birth part. I know that I can do it- I AM strong enough and I know that I can handle it. I feel at peace with the responsibility of raising this little life, teaching him all the things that matter and are important. I am even at peace with the fact that I am going to fail, because I have confidence that even when I do fail, with the Lord's strength and guidance I will get back up and continue to give it everything I have. I feel at peace with where we are in our lives as precious baby G enters the world. I am at complete peace with it all. And I know with 100% certainty that all the prayers that we have felt and that we have prayed ourselves have given me that peace.

The peace that I am feeling reminds me of what a gracious and loving God we serve. One who cares about everything we have going on in our daily lives- no matter how insignificant things may seem. He cares. A God whose love is so great and mighty, that in times of fear and doubt, I can literally feel His arms of comfort and peace around me. I am so grateful that we serve such a mighty God, full of love, mercy, and compassion. Without Him, I wouldn't be able to do it. Without Him, I wouldn't have this peace. Without Him, I wouldn't be strong enough. Because He is my strength.

I want to add too, that I am beyond grateful for the support that I have received over the past few weeks. I am blessed with some amazing family members and friends who are beyond encouraging. The tearful text conversations, the frantic phone calls, the skype conversations, the facebook messages, and the encouraging bible verses sent in the mail-  all of which reassured me that I CAN do this.

We love you all!

3.5 more weeks! :)